For cases involving children, the Minnesota statute permits a county district court to require custody education. You might consider getting an early start on that and take required courses before you reach any agreements. Each county approves its own custody education courses. A quick call to the Court Administrator’s office for your county will get you the name and telephone number of the course. In the Twin Cities area the custody education programs are as follows:

• Hennepin County Education Video: 612-348-6734.
• Storefront Youth Action’s Co-Parenting Class: 612-861-1675 (Hennepin, Ramsey).
• Chrysalis Shared Parenting: 612-871-0118 (Hennepin, Ramsey).
• Hennepin County Education Video with Mediation: 612-348-6734 (Hennepin).
• The LEAD Program (Legal and Economic Aspects of Divorce): 612-861-1675 (Hennepin).
• Parents Forever 651-748-7295 (Ramsey, Scott, Washington).
• Erickson Mediation Institute: 952-835-3688 (Dakota).
• Anoka County: none required.
• Carver County: none required.

When people represent themselves, they are appearing in a lawsuit pro se, and even though they are not attorneys, they are expected to follow the Court rules and submit the proper paperwork. Basic paperwork for a do-it-yourself divorce consists of a Summons and Petition for Marriage Dissolution, proof that the Summons and Petitioner were served on the other side, a written settlement agreement (called a Marital Termination Agreement) and a divorce decree (called Findings of Fact, Conclusions of Law, Order for Judgment and Judgment and Decree). There are additional forms that need to be filed and sometimes the forms and procedures vary from county to county. The above resources on divorce education will also provide some information on procedures and required forms.

• If you and your spouse can still talk to each other in a productive way.

• If you both have the same access to basic information such as paystubs, bank statements, etc.

• If you both have some ability to crunch numbers, project your future financial needs and understand parenting issues from both the parent and the child viewpoints.

• If your financial affairs have remained relatively simple: salaries instead of self-employment, account statements, modest debt.

• If emotions, personalities, mental illness, chemical dependency, domestic abuse or an unhappy past history always get in the way when you want to talk with each other.

• If you don’t know much about your family finances and your spouse won’t provide the necessary information or you don’t feel can rely on the information the spouse gives you.

• If you’re not good with numbers, have never been much involved in family finances or don’t have a good idea about your future needs.

• If a child poses special parenting challenges or there have been problems with parenting during the marriage.

• If you have complex financial affairs, or many, many substantive issues.

• If there’s one or more issue where the two of you simply cannot agree. A common one is spousal maintenance.

Even if some of the above factors keep the two of you from reaching agreement, know that your divorce might still resolve with an agreement. Sometimes adding in a third party can get the two of you back together at the negotiating table. Third parties to consider include: a mediator or consulting with an attorney.

A mediator is a trained neutral who helps the two of you discuss your divorce in a way that is intended to help the two of you see common ground and identify solutions that are agreeable to both of you. Most mediators trained in family law will assist with gathering necessary information and structuring the discussion issue by issue. They will also record any agreements reached in a summary. Many people mediate their divorces without attorneys being present during the mediation.

Another option is for one or both parties to consult with attorneys for information or ideas and then continue their discussions on their own. Occasionally, it might be helpful to have attorneys negotiate a few remaining issues. Many family law attorneys will offer a consultation session for an hour or so at an hourly rate or with a reasonable retainer. Most family law attorneys will not give advice to both sides of a divorce case as they consider doing so a conflict of interest.

Collaborative law attorneys have taken special training in settling cases. Many other family law attorneys share your belief that family law cases should settle and handle their divorces cases in a cooperative way. These attorneys will typically suggest ways of exploring further negotiations by means of four way conferences (both attorneys and both parties), making settlement proposals that have several options, hiring neutral experts and similar strategies for getting around impasse. Ask how an attorney might maximize the opportunities to settle your case.

CONSIDER CONSULTING WITH AN ATTORNEY BEFORE SIGNING THE AGREEMENT. Once you have the details worked out and the papers filled out, consider asking an attorney to review the document for you. Hopefully, an attorney will confirm that you’ve negotiated for a feet-on-the-floor, solid, straightforward settlement. If not, an attorney can give you input as to any provisions that seem unfair or unworkable and can alert you to future consequences that you may not have taken into account.

In addition, an attorney can help you figure out how to get the benefit of the deal you worked out. An attorney can suggest language that would be helpful in implementing things that the two of you agreed to do, and can identify those actions where you might want attorney assistance. Follow-up after the judge approves your decree is particularly important if the other side is ordered to pay you money, real estate is involved or you are dividing pensions or other retirement assets.

The critical idea here is to get legal advice before you sign the paperwork and the divorce is presented to the Court. Once you have a divorce decree, it will be more costly, more difficult and sometimes impossible to "correct" an unreasonable agreement or add in understandings that didn’t get written down.

PREPARE FOR COURT HEARINGS. If you don’t have any children, you can submit your paperwork to the Court for administrative approval of your settlement agreement and divorce. No hearing is necessary. If you do have children and one or both of you does not have an attorney sign off on the written agreement, you will need to schedule and appear at a default hearing. The purpose of the default hearing is to testify as to the facts and why the Court should approve the agreement. Frequently, the judge will ask the questions when people don’t have attorneys. Be prepared to say that the facts in your Petition for Dissolution are correct, and how you ended up with any numbers you put in your written agreement.

DOES THIS SOUND LIKE AN AD FOR HIRING A DIVORCE ATTORNEY? It isn’t meant to. Instead, the point of this article is to encourage early, cooperative resolutions of divorce issues with you using an attorney in a smart way – for those things where you will really benefit from a lawyer’s advice and help.

If you have no children, few assets, few debts, and you both work, you are the best candidates for a do-it-yourself divorce. The more you have at stake, the more issues, the more complex the issues, the more in your interest to consider some attorney involvement.