"The Child is father of the Man" - William Wordsworth
Children learn by living, and how adults manage their children's lives from two households can be as important to the children's ultimate development as the parenting time schedule which is set out in a Decree or Order.
In general, current research on custody indicates that the following factors support children's adjustment to living in two households:
- Adequate time with each parent.
- Developmentally appropriate schedules.
- Cooperation and flexibility between parents.
- Support by each parent of the other parent's relationship with the children.
- Focus on children's needs instead of adult issues.
Sometimes parents are unable to reach the ongoing agreements necessary to provide those circumstances for their children. The next best option is prompt resolution of disagreements so that the children's lives are not disrupted and diverted into adult interactional issues. In other words, the children should at least experience an absence of overt indicators of conflict despite the parents' inability to cooperate with each other.
For some conflicted parenting relationships, it is helpful to work with a third party who has the task of facilitating discussions towards agreement and if no agreement is reached, deciding the issue. The facilitation phase of Parenting Consulting is like a mediation. The decision-making phase is like a arbitration.
There are two such roles available in Minnesota - a Parenting Consultant who can assist with all parenting issues except change of custody and child support - or a Parenting Time Expediter who can assist with parenting time schedule issues. While these third parties have a similar role, they are not exactly the same and the differences might make a difference for your situation.
When I am hired as a family law lawyer, I can offer you my experience and knowledge to help you work effectively with a Parenting Consultant or Parenting Time Expediter to get issues resolved.
When I am hired as a family law neutral, those and other additional process training and skills qualify me for the task of getting two parents on the same page.
